by Shaina

1.  The coffee is hot today.
2.  The Louise Gluck anthology is not a coaster.
3.  A down comforter is an infinite number of cup holders.
4.  That’s Nutella.
5.  No, I don’t eat Nutella in my bed.
6.  OK, sometimes.
7.  Any and all stuffed animals live face-down.
8.  It’s better that way.
9.  Where did all this dust come from.
10.  Swiffers should be made of callused feet.
11.  Pendleton blankets are for horses.
12.  I am a horse.
13.  I never want to see a carrot again.
14.  Fleece-naw.
15.  Seahorse, maybe.
16.  Underwater flying is dismissed as swimming.