That Song that Happened at Me with the Girl and the Guitar and the Train

by Shaina

First thing on the train I covered my ears and
filled them with other sounds to make like I
had a choice in the environment but still I was hostage
to mouths and still the people and their jackets and wrinkles
and snot and I became the oozing organ called
subway but even still I became inward and cocooned and
missed my stop or the train did it is unclear I

got out at the next one and floated through the up
down mumbling concrete under the grey looking for the
passage to sore eyes or the day and I spotted a
crowd around a girl with a blue guitar the main things
were the blue guitar the guitar case of ones and the
afro and also the foot stomping attached to an
enthusiastic leg but I figured I would keep on through
and continue with my Smashing Pumpkins

but my hand took a phone off an ear and her sound
was loud so I took the other one off too and my feet
stopped walking and I was the crowd and she was
singing some Disclosure and her mouth was shaped
like she was happy we were happy and shaped like
she was happy by the sounds she made her mouth
was not complacent just glad and when the train came
for the others they left but

I stayed just me and a man and we watched until
she was done and even though I knew I loved
I did not talk because I hadn’t put more than seventy-five
cents in because I don’t keep cash and I felt
rude so I left the station with tears coming
down my face and did not know their purpose but

later in the day I tried to walk back and find her
but my path went the wrong way and I did not
end at the station and I started to fear what if
that was the only song she knew and it was better not
to go back and instead let her be the train girl
with the blue guitar that won’t let go of me never
who locked in my love and all so I went home
with just my numb fingers and a question like
maybe she had loved me back.

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